How to enjoy women

Whenever I meet a woman that claims to not get along with other women I run the other way. Not out of fear, mind you - the truth is I feel sorry for women like that. There is nothing more pathetic than to say that you hate women when you are guilty of being one yourself.

Women that say this usually declare this proudly, as if it were a badge of honor. Sadly, it's not even a unique thing to say. Look, we've all had to deal with mean girls (don't I know it!) but you're not being fair to yourself when you tell anyone that will listen that all women are vicious creatures out to hurt one another in the name of competition.* Because, really, is that all you think of yourself? And your mother?

Men are great; they really are quite the extraordinary creatures. But they are best enjoyed one at a time - and if you're married you've made a promise to do exactly that. On the other hand, as a woman you're afforded the luxury of enjoying the company of as many strong, gorgeous, powerful, stylish, brilliant women as you can find. There's no way you can "cheat" on a girl-friend - in fact, I find that it's best not to become too dependent on one woman for all you friendship needs.

The more the merrier, I say.

But how do you find these women? What if you're a recovering girl-hater?

First, start enjoying the women that surround you already. Every one
of them has something to teach you - and you should let them know that with
a sincere compliment. Maybe one moves with the grace of a ballerina, or
is the most brilliant business strategist you've ever met. What about
that neighbor who has four seemingly well-adjusted and happy children -
how does she do that? Or that girl at the supermarket checkout with the
impeccable makeup - where did she learn to do it? What about your
drop-dead gorgeous childhood friend - does she know you think she could
kick Giselle's butt in a supermodel showdown?

I'm liberal when it comes to giving compliments to women. I can't
help it - if I admire something about someone, I tell them. It's quite
selfish of me, really - complimenting what I admire in others makes me
feel good. Not "I've done a good deed" good, but "lucky me, I'm
surrounded by so much that is awesome" good. And if the receiver of the
compliment gets a little lift - well, so much the better. (Sadly, some
girls don't know how to accept a compliment. They'll look at you
suspiciously as they try to figure out what you want from them. *Sigh*)

Then, just put yourself out there. When I was a single woman I
never, ever gave my phone number to a man - instead, I made them give
me their numbers so I could call them back if I was interested. (Single
ladies take note: This is a much better strategy than giving out a fake
phone number. You can always call them - or not-  if you change your
mind the next day.) However, I give out my phone number and email
address freely to women I meet randomly if they have the potential to
become a Best Friend Forever. It's like dating; you never know where
you're going to meet someone who Gets You, and you've got to put
yourself out there when you do. And, just like dating, most of the time
I never hear back from them. But when they do, and when we meet again,
there's always the excitement of meeting someone new - someone who,
like you, thinks that you could become the Best of Friends. It makes
for a fun afternoon out

Surround yourself with awesome women - especially those that you
think you are jealous of. The fact that someone is richer or thinner
than you doesn't stop you from achieving those things yourself - in
fact, being around people who have the qualities you strive for,
whatever those may be, makes it more likely that you will achieve them
yourself. Likewise, surround yourself with selfish, bitter, needy
witches - and you've set yourself up for a miserable existence.