Rollercoaster...



So, to answer the question everyone keeps asking me: How am I doing?

Fine. Just fine.

Which doesn't mean that life with three kids isn't a roller coaster, and that I'm not barely hanging on some days, while other days I'm just coasting along, enjoying the ride.

It's...a lot. The three kids part. Kind of shocking, actually. 

And then it's not. 

I'm extremely lucky - my husband is a class-A father and partner, most of my family has come to visit and help out, even though they live in Miami and I'm up here in Boston - and my friends have been nothing short of amazing. No really, they're Amazing: Coming over with food and drinks (of the adult variety) and playing with my kids and have been nothing if not patient and wonderful, and won't you believe it! I've run out of thank you notes because people have been too kind. Even people I hardly know.

THAT my friends, is luck. And I appreciate it more than I could ever express, even though I'm supposed to be a writer.

But! The recovery from this birth has been tougher on me in so many ways. Physically (as the nurse so kindly reminded me "you've stretched your insides as far as they can take, for a third time, things won't be the same for a long time, if ever") and emotionally. I can actually feel the hormonal changes - my temperature goes up and down, I want to see people and then I don't. I cry. I laugh. I sit in silence. I lose my patience. I'm at peace. I won't shut up.

I know it's all normal. But that doesn't mean it doesn't take some getting used to.

Exhibit A of my roller coaster life: I saw a pregnant woman yesterday, AND I WAS JEALOUS OF HER. Me! Who wouldn't shut up about my big fat pregnancy and how ready I was to give birth. (Don't believe me? Reference, oh, every post on this site since about May or something.)

Exhibit B: Baby names. I'm second guessing our choice of name. Not because we don't love the name, but because random people can't say Matthias. (It's Ma-TEE-as!) I love the name. It's a very popular name...internationally. I guess it's not so much here. Oops! We know so many Matthiases, but I guess my son will be the first for many of our US friends. That makes me sad some days. Other days, I'm all "tough noogies folks!" - our family is an international family (our children have both US and EU citizenship) and it's not like we're going to name our boys Bob* to make things easier for strangers.

(Not that there's anything wrong with Bob. You know what I mean.)

(Oh, let's face it...people are going to call him Matt. Sigh.)

ANYWAYS! The boys need me. Gotta go. Stay well. I promise to do the same.