Things People Have Said to Me This Pregnancy, In Order of Decreasing Awesomeness

"This is your third pregnancy? You don't look like you're old enough to vote!" (Thank you butcher man. Thank you very much.)

"Do you think the baby can feel my kisses? I like kissing the baby." (From big brother, say it with me: Awww...)

"Call the baby Winnie...Winnie the Pooh-pooh head! HA HA HA!" (From big brother as well. He's taking it well, obviously.)

Grocery store manager as he calls for an employee: "Open a lane for this lady, we don't want her to have this baby here!" Then he winked at me. (The wink? It didn't help. But I got to skip the line, suckers!)

"Oh my God. You look like you're just ready to pop! When are you due? Any minute, huh?"
"Um, well, you look woooonderful!" (Too many strangers to count. Why would you ask a stranger her due date?)

Random lady: "I'm a little psychic. Your fourth child will be a girl."
"Ha ha haaaa! Fourth child! That's funny!"
Random lady (looking hurt): "But I can feel your daughter! She's waiting for you in heaven right now."
Me: "FOURTH child! Haaaa...good one."

"You're having ANOTHER boy? Poor you." (Rot in hell, asshole.)

"I guess you were trying for a girl and failed!" (Seriously: What. The. Hell. Is. Wrong. With. People?)

And my favorite comment of all, because I like to end on a positive note:

"You can't have enough men loving you! Well done!"

Ain't that the truth.