The real reason boys don't talk, and how to get them to open up

Well, this is interesting. One of the long-held beliefs about men and boys is that they don't talk about their feelings out of fear of appearing weak. If you believed that was the reason your son won't talk, you'd be wrong.

Turns out, according to this study, that the reason boys don't speak about their problems, or at least don't do it as much as the ladies, is that "they just don’t see talking about problems to be a particularly useful activity.”


This is good news for parents. Instead of trying to make boys feel "safe" (I've read the advice of talking when sitting beside each other -- as in a car -- instead of face to face) giving them concrete examples of why talking helps might be the way to go.

How does talking help?

  • Talking about problems might lead you to discover a creative solution -- think of it as brainstorming.

  • Talking about problems is cathartic -- you can feel yourself becoming less tense.

  • Talking about problems might help you find an ally.

  • Talking about problems provides you with a new perspective.

  • Talking about problems just feels good.