Me

My word for 2012 was "More."

In 2013 it was "Simplify."

I guess I now have a thing going, so I have to choose one for 2014. I almost didn't, because of my rebellious nature (ha, ha), but one kept popping up anyway and so it was chosen. The word for 2014 will be "Me."

Me. 

Now that I see that little word up there, it's a little scarier than I expected it to be. But I've spent a lot of time trying to do everything I need to do from the sidelines and it's time to do it from within. I know that this doesn't even make sense from your side of the screen, but it makes sense to me. And that is all that matters here, me. 

See how selfish I'm becoming already? 

But here's the thing: I don't think putting "me" first is selfish, not at all. To me it is at once very deep ("What does it mean to be me?") and also very superficial ("I have to start pampering me") but the time is right and it's about time. 

I know what I like. I know what I believe in. I know me.

And in 2014, my priority will be to let that be my guide. 

I don't have infants anymore, but in a way I'm still living like I do -- skipping showers (and I love showers!) and walking around with dirty hair as if I had a baby to nurse. I make a horrible martyr. I'm tired all the time because, I'm not even sure why? I mean, I know what causes me to be so freaking tired, but why I let myself get to that point is a mystery. 

Taking care of me is a big part of it, I won't lie. Yesterday, I made a bunch of doctor's appointments I've been putting off (because I took care of everything else all year and somehow, by the time I got to me it was after 5 and there was no one to take my appointment.) Anyway, I called my eye doctor, and the receptionist was astounded at how long it had been since my last appointment. 

"It's been almost four years!" She sighed and then asked me in a strangely accusatory tone, "Where have you been getting your contacts?"

"The internet?"

I mean, has this woman been living under a rock? But more importantly, what have I been living under? It takes me a year to get a haircut, four years to see my eye doctor. Who is my friend! And has been to my house in those four years! Why can't I just make an appointment to have my eyes checked, while my dog and kids see their doctors every few weeks, it seems like. It's time to take care of me, to put on my oxygen mask before helping other passengers, etc, etc... You know how it goes. It's a cliche, but I'm very excited. 

So happy 2014 to you, friends! If you have a word for the year, I'd love to hear it. See? It's not just about me!