Should you get a dog?

I have a dog. You may have heard something about this.

The interesting thing about this is that people have started to ask me if they should get a dog. I'm not sure why having a dog makes me an expert on whether everyone else should get a dog. Should you get a dog? I don't know. Not that that has ever stopped me from having an opinion. 

Do you enjoy picking up poop? What about the soft-serve really gross kind?

Are you really good at detecting the source of faint urine smells?

How about the vacuum? How handy are you with that?

How attached are you to your material possessions? Are you above wearing sandals with a little bit chewed off the top?

Do you like to walk around the block? No, really, do you enjoy going for walks around the block multiple times a day? In the snow and ice?

Do you think farts are funny? Or, do you need a creature to blame the farts on?

Do you like talking to someone who can offer a sympathetic ear and no bad advice?

Do you like to humiliate your loved ones with your immature sense of humor?

Do you like to have a warm and nonjudgmental creature to snuggle with?

Do you love being greeted like a queen every time you walk into the room, even if you were only gone for a minute?

Oh fine. Get the dog. And give her lots of snuggles.