I'm an Orange Lost in a Sea of Ah-pples

NOTE:  I'm posting some old stuff until I'm back in September - Enjoy!  Or ignore!  Whatever!

I am a transplanted Bostonian. Moving here from another, warmer, city
has been an adjustment, to say the least. And yes, I have adjusted. I
don't break out into a cold sweat anymore because of a snowy forecast.
At this time of year I can say, "33 degrees? Nice!" and only be half
kidding. Bad drivers on 128 don't scare me (much) anymore. But my
transformation can only go so far. There is one thing, a small thing
really, but a thing that is at the essence of being a Bostonian, and
that thing is one thing that I still do not get.

I do not understand the obsession with Dunkin' Donuts coffee. 

I am a Starbucks person. I can't help it if I like my coffee strong
and tasty. I prefer to buy my coffee in clean cafes with good music and
a relaxed vibe. I get nervous at the lines at the Dunkin' Donuts, which
remind me of the lines at Taco Bell. The service is invariably bad. Yet
the natives love it. I have made it a point to appreciate the hometown
brew, and my attempts have failed miserably. I cannot stand the watered
down chemical brew that Dunkin' coffee is.

Unfortunately, we've moved to a neighborhood where there are no
Starbucks cafes within walking distance. I so miss walking to
Starbucks! Instead, we have a Dunkin' Donuts shop. It is small and
crowded and the decor is alarmingly pink and yellow. Still I persist
and I go in and order coffee every once in a while because I need to
find a product that I will like so that I don't have to get in the car
to get my caffeine fix, even if the pink store has no seating. Besides,
there are some smart people in this town and they can't all be wrong.
So I've ordered regular coffee with milk. It is absolutely tasteless,
since it usually has been sitting in the machine for God know how long.
I once ordered a "specialty" coffee, something called a toasted almond,
which tasted like burnt engine oil smells. Had to dump that in the
garbage can right outside the store. But last week was the worst
experience of all. The shop committed a cardinal sin; a sin so
egregious I feel like the shop staff has something against me -

Initially I was full of hope because the sign outside read "REAL
LATTES". My mouth literally salivated. The coffee in the picture did in
fact look like a latte, all tall, dark and handsome with a light layer
of foam. I went inside, happy in the belief that at last I had found my
beverage. I order my "real" latte, and do you know what they did? Can
you handle it? They made my "real" latte with drip coffee.  There wasn't an espresso maker in the store!

Now that is just cruel.