Impostors, Unite!

I ’ve started writing again. What’s even more exciting, ideas keep coming to me and I know what I need to do.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been excited about a creative project, and I’m scared. I’m sharing this with you because I have a feeling you’ve been thinking about doing something big yourself, and you’re scared too.

I’m willing to bet a million dollars (that I don’t actually have, but let’s pretend) that the thought of getting started on whatever that exciting but scary thing is makes you break out in a cold sweat. Your heart starts beating faster not necessarily because you’re excited but because deep down you just know that you’re not ready yet.

It’s not that your idea isn’t brilliant, or that you doubt your ability. (Well, maybe you do, just a little.) It’s that you’re just not ready yet because you don’t know what you’re doing.

You tell yourself that you just need to go back to school. You need a bit more practice. You’ll be amazing, eventually. But first, you need some more time.

OK, LET’S STOP DOING THAT. We’re ready now.

Let’s stop giving in to impostor syndrome - and definitely stop letting perfectionism eat us alive.

Perfectionism isn't exactly a monster, but I find it to be a very convenient excuse for everything. I find I'm always telling myself little lies, "Oh, I'd totally get this done but it has to be perfect." This is clearly not smart on my part, but never more so than when I spend hours researching, let's say, the perfect font for my project. Who cares? I don't even care that much, but I must have spent hours trying to figure out if words look better in Arial or Proxima Nova. Sigh.

Of course, when I keep putting things off -- in the name of research and perfection -- all I have to show for it is a big knot in my belly because I know what I really need is to just get started already or quit before I even begin.

Does this happen to you as well?

This is what works for me: I have to admit that I don’t actually have all the answers - and that I never will. And I have to be OK with that.

That’s actually a really hard thing to do. But here’s a secret that actually helps me, and I learned it in business school, of all places: No one has all the answers.

Yep. None of us know what we’re doing. At least not all the time.

Isn’t that freeing?

(And terrifying?)

We’re all somewhat clueless together! Humans are social creatures; we need to know this about each other. It’s scary as hell to admit this, but at least we’re not alone.

Isn't that what perfectionism is, fear?

And isn't it interesting how perfectionism is so closely related to procrastination?

I've got to remember the awesome feeling of relief when I finish something, even when it isn't perfect. What they say is true, done is better than perfect.

I'm always amazed at how well things turn out when I allow myself to be imperfect.

I guess I’m asking for your permission to be imperfect as I get back to writing and sharing my words.

And know that I’m giving you permission, if you need it, to be imperfect too.

That thing you want to do? Do it now.

You’ve got the rest of us impostors cheering you on.  

IMG_4667.jpeg

Love Yourself

I don’t know much, but I have learned this: You must love yourself first and do it fiercely and you must learn to be shameless about it.

How you love yourself is how you teach others how to love you.

And here’s part two: Don’t keep that self-love to yourself. Not that you’ll want to. You won’t be able to resist sharing it. That’s the secret. That’s the fuel.

But how do you share it? You share it by teaching those you love how to love themselves.

IMG_4362.jpeg

Happy Valentine’s Day mis queridos

🍓 Love Yourselves 🍓

The Gift

Here’s a story for you: I injured my toe last week which means that I haven’t been able to go to yoga. I know, I know...but this isn’t about yoga.

IMG_4078.jpeg

I was so frustrated - just when I finally fall into a habit that feels good, my stupid couch just had to get in the way! I was told to give the foot a chance to heal, and while I know it’s good advice, I could still feel the frustration building: That time was mine, and it was taken from me.

At some point I decided to clean out my papers and found a spa gift card from way back in September (my birthday) - it just sat there forgotten for no good reason at all. Nothing was stopping me from using the hours I had carved for my yoga practice, something that felt so good, doing something *else* that felt good. So that’s how I started my week getting a massage first thing on a Monday. It felt good - and not just because massages feel good, but because it was gifted to me with love and I had ignored that gesture for no good reason at all.

The gift was generous, so I had enough left over for a second session and when I scheduled it I decided to book it for Valentine’s day - as a Valentine to myself.

Make the time. And when you find it, don’t waste it.